Last weekend residents of Toowoomba -- Australia's largest inland regional city and a city running out of water -- voted against a proposal whereby the city would draw 25 per cent of its water from recycled effluent. On the subject of water and recycling, Mercurius posted the following alert at the On Line Opinion Forum last night:
"The World Health Organisation (WHO) today issued an unprecedented global alert for the entire world’s population to avoid drinking water which, it has found, is actually recycled urine.
The Director-General of WHO, Lee Jong-wook, was visibly shaken as he read out a statement. "It is my solemn duty to inform the people of the world that WHO scientists, operating independently in over 80 countries, have confirmed our worst fears. They have reached consensus that the water we drink, whether it is comes from a tap, a sealed bottle, or straight from a well or river, is actually recycled urine."
The urine-water link has been blamed on the so-called hydrosphere effect, a radical hypothesis in which water from your toilet is flows out into the ocean and evapourates into the sky; from where scientists believe it falls as rain upon mountaintops, and make its way via rivers directly back into your household tap.
Said Mr Lee, "the hydrosphere effect is so far out of control there seems little chance of turning back the tide. We took samples from thousands of patients and found their bodies were riddled with water, in some cases as high as 75%. It’s too late for us, but maybe not for our children."
The finding has set public health officials scrambling for alternatives. But AMA Secretary Dr. Robyn Mason said that water is in everything we drink. "We tested fruit juice, milk and even beer, and found water content as high as 96%," she said. According to the AMA, safer alternatives include cask-strength whisky (29% water, 1% barley, 70% alcohol) and cat's milk, which has far less water than dairy varieties.
Some have expressed hope of obtaining super-pure water from deep aquifers or Antarctic ice. But Mr Lee has poured water on these plans, stating that even the deepest groundwater sources are comprised of ancient number ones from prehistoric fish.
"There’s no escape. And don’t even think of swimming in the ocean – there’s a reason it’s salty you know. I’d rather take my chances in a pool full of primary school kids."
Posted by Mercurius on Monday 31 July 2006 at On Line Opinion and republished here with permission.
These revelations add to the public's growing concerns about the indiscriminate use of dihydrogen monoxide (DHMO).
Visit http://www.dhmo.org/
Schiller.
Hi Jennifer,
Very amusing, definately a spoof and I claim my A$5!
Is it pure coincidence that the bottled water brand 'Evian' is naive spelt backwards?.....probably, however the French have always had a robust sense of humour!
http://www.foodandwaterwatch.org/water/bottled-up-and-tapped-out
http://news.independent.co.uk/environment/article1129855.ece
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reclaimed_water
Read: " The media and companies could laugh all the way to the bank".
Did the WHO actually warn against drinking water, or is this some kind of an April's folly? What an utter crap.
But nowadays I have anyway lost my faith in the WHO, since their alarmist reports on bird flu pandemics. This only supported pharmaceutical companies as Roche, who could increase their sell of Taminflu. The hysteria was complete in Europe.
And what happened, nothing, only the media and companies could laugh all the to the bank.
BTW, who thinks about eating bread, actually the meal is full of rat shit.
And those peanuts at yr local bar are 37% urine too.
Worse than number ones, all sorts of creatures have s=x in the water too.
I think I read this some time ago although the gentleman concerned was Mr I P Daly.
One should take comfort that even in the (Qld) "Deep North" around 40 per cent voted FOR the recycled water option, given the level of gobbledegook put forward by the NO campaign!
Finally, a gift-wrapped justification for drinking on the job! Mmmmmmm, cask-strength whiskey.